 Today I’m sharing about a struggle of mine most of you don’t know about. And to be honest, I don’t want to write this post. I’ve had it on my mind for months now, but I kept putting it off. Admitting weakness and brokenness is hard. It’s simple to state “yeah, I’m a weak and broken person,” but actually sharing my own specific, inner struggles is nerve-wracking.
But if I don’t, we all miss out on a lot—myself included. There is so much beauty and potential in sharing our hardships—more on that later. That said, here's (this part of) my story:
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 Lately, I’ve been absolutely consumed by stress. I’ve let myself become aggravated and negative. I’ve elevated the importance of “what I need to do today” to a level that’s become deadly. My planner has become my anxious obsession. Life is feeling like too much.
It seems funny that I’m writing a post on handling stress, since I’ll be the first to say I’m not the best at it. What you just read was taken straight from a journal entry from last week. Being a college student, this time in late April (the end of the semester) is frantic. It honestly feels like I'm drowning.  And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.
At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. {Matthew 27:50-51} To understand the significance of the temple curtain being torn in half, we must look back on some history. Bear with me here, the beauty of how it all ties together in the end is astounding! In the very beginning, in the garden of Eden, God’s presence dwelt with Adam and Eve constantly. There was no separation needed, because all was holy and good. When sin  It can be hard to find anyone or anything that’s constant and steady in today's world. The pace and mindset seems to be growing faster, more frantic, and more concerned with self. Things end just as quickly as they started, people come, people go. An idea springs up and gets suffocated by lack of success. So we move on. We get discouraged, we get frustrated, we get pushed too far, and we leave the situation.
Side note: I’m definitely including myself in this. I'm not writing this because I have it all together; I'm writing it because I honestly struggle with selfishness and inconsistency. Where has faithfulness gone? Is it too risky in our society? When we must choose |