If I had one word to describe this summer, I would say ‘breezy.’ I’m talking ice cream cones, sandals that have grown dirty from outdoor adventures, and countless hours reading good books. The best of the best.
Throughout most of the season, my relationship with God has also felt breezy: very simple, gentle, and foundational. I studied the book of Colossians with a small group, which emphasizes the gospel. Much of my time in prayer and reading was spent marveling over the most foundational truths of the Bible: that Jesus is the reason for everything, that his life and death have freed me, and that I am brought to fullness in him. Just like the easy rhythms of summer, I was reminded daily of the sweet, sweet truths that make life possible.
Lately, though, the breezes have gained a certain chill to them. The season is changing, no matter how us Midwesterners pout and protest: and much is changing in my little life too. I am now finished with my job at the YMCA summer program, and soon will be starting my last undergraduate semester at college, resuming my beloved tutoring job, diving back into leadership with Cru, and planning whatever the heck will happen beyond December (as well as the wedding!). I’m excited for these changes, and the people and change of pace they’ll bring back to my life.
My Bible reading has also switched from Colossians to Numbers, which describes the Israelites’ wanderings in the desert. After God frees his people from slavery in Egypt, he leads them through wilderness towards a good land he has prepared for them. The journey is tough, though, and God’s people prove to be imperfect: whining about the food they’re given, choosing fearfulness instead of faith, rebelling against leadership, and even (multiple times) talking about how much better it was to be slaves in Egypt!
However, God continues leading these people through the wilderness, towards his promise. They have a good destination, and it’s God’s faithfulness that’s getting them through. Their feeble minds think that turning back is a good option, but God has something so much better for them.
The whole thing has reminded me that I have a destination: Heaven, the greatest land ever promised. No matter how breezy and full of little novelties my life is, I’m supposed to live with a purpose and a goal. Though I might feel like a whiny, aimless Israelite at times, the worst possible thing I could do is turn around and pursue the things of the world. We are called by God to seek the things that are above, to set our hearts and minds on them!
The message that has been reinforced in my mind through sermons and my own times with the Lord, is “keep on going.” That’s what I want to do as I step into this fall season: keep on going, with a destination in sight. The Lord has beautiful, wonderful things in store for us.
A year ago, I was preparing to do the most daring, crazy thing I’ve ever done. I was moving to Vermont to lead mission trips with YouthWorks all summer. It was a wild decision for this introvert for many reasons. I didn’t know anyone I’d be working with. I also knew leading large groups of middle and high schoolers (without previous experience in this age group!) would be a challenging job. And I wouldn't see my family, friends, or Brian for months.
I was jumping into this wild adventure with no assurance that I would enjoy it or even succeed at it. However, I knew I had gotten the job for a reason. I was trying to trust that God had a plan for it.
Somehow, when the time came to leave, I packed a giant suitcase and went to the airport with my family and Brian. Saying goodbye was not easy. I forced myself to emotionally detach from the situation as we took pictures together, said last goodbyes, and hugged. I held back the floodgate of tears dying to burst forth, because I needed to retain my vision as I entered the security line.
I had two flights that day and ended up in Pittsburgh for a week of training. It truly felt unreal, and I couldn’t have done it without the support from my family. It was one of the hardest days of my life.
But I am sooooooo glad I got on that plane and went.
The summer was incredibly challenging, yes. It pushed me and grew me and frustrated me every single day. But looking back, I can’t imagine not having gone. Yesterday, I looked through all the pictures, cards, notes, and keepsakes from the summer, and I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for all that I learned through it.
I want this little story to push you to do the hard things you feel led to. Maybe you’re considering applying for a challenging job, starting a big project, or even starting a deeper conversation with a coworker. I encourage you to prayerfully go for it! Here are 5 reasons to do hard things:
1. It forces you to trust God.
Jumping into something that is obviously beyond your own ability forces you to lean on God's strength. I saw my weakness and tendency to worry in full color last summer, but also experienced God’s kindness and power in me. I prayed so many times, “I cannot do this, God. Help me.” And he did! He delights in leading us and loving us in our weakness. This beautiful verse really spoke to my need for His guidance as I prepared to leave:
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. -Isaiah 42:16
2. It reveals where you’ve been limiting yourself.
I’ve limited myself with the label of ‘introvert’ countless times. I’ve told myself that I hate talking in front of people, that doing new things scares me, and that I’m awkward and bad at meeting new people. But last summer, I did a whole lot of that stuff. Every day. And slowly, I began to realize that I could be good at it! You are capable of far more than you think, I promise.
3. It teaches you new skills and lessons.
My summer gave me some weird new skills, like dividing 70 people into service teams based on the size of their vans, or making 13 pounds of taco meat. It also taught me deeper lessons, like the beauty of unity between diverse people, the satisfaction of helping people, and the joy found in talking to nursing home residents. These are things I could have missed if I stayed home! There’s no predicting what lessons and skills a new experience could bring you.
4. It *could be* a lot of fun!
Will your step of courage end up being awesome? Maybe. Despite the hard stuff in my summer, I absolutely loved my team, the work we did, and all the silly and adventurous things in between. However, I realize that all ‘new things’ you do might not be enjoyable. You might decide ‘never again!’ You just never know what the experience could be like!
5. You get to remember God’s faithfulness. No matter how things end up, after doing something hard, you get to remember how God showed up and came through for you. Instead of remembering how amazing your performance was or how self-assured it’s made you, you get to attribute it all to the Lord. My YouthWorks summer has become one more item in my list of how God has shown his faithfulness to me.
So, whether you’re contemplating a life-changing decision or a small step, don’t let hard things scare you away. There is a ton of value in doing what you think you cannot.
Want to read more about my summer with YouthWorks? Here are links to those posts!
A Life Update: My Summer Plans!
My First 3 Weeks with YouthWorks (+ Pictures!)
Church Groups Finally Came to Rutland! (+ Pictures)
25 Random Things I Learned in Rutland
This sunny, warm weather has been AMAZING. I feel like I’m coming alive from the dead! Spring is transforming everything, slowly and surely. The snow is shrinking, and more people are out and about. The windows are open in my apartment. I stashed my winter coat in the closet, to be replaced by one half the weight. The roads are finally ice and snow-free. Even feeling the warmth of the sun on my back is a welcome surprise!
I love that God gives us seasons here, that there is always a new thing coming. It’s crazy how long we can bear the nasty cold and snow, but the moment we get a breath of spring, it’s all over. We relish the sun, we ache for newness!
I’m feeling the same ache in my spiritual life too. When I sat down to write this blog post, I paged through my journal to see what God’s been teaching me. That’s usually how I approach picking a topic and writing. But honestly, there wasn’t a whole lot there. Even though I’ve been spending time in the Bible, my journal was mostly a jumble of me summarizing passages I’d read. Not much evidence of life change or pondering big lessons from God.
And while it’s sad, I realize that it’s okay. It’s normal to sometimes feel close to God, like you’re learning and changing every day, and sometimes feel duller: even plateaued in growth. It’s not a reason to panic! God’s love for us never changes based on our moods, thoughts, or growth.
But, I also know that we can ask him for change! I can watch the world blossom into Spring and ask God to bring new sun and growth to my spiritual life, too.
It’s a gift to live in this beautiful world and know our gracious and patient God!
I hate driving on snowy and icy roads. That’s the popular opinion, I know, but I think I hate it more than the average Minnesotan.
Last week, I was confronted head on by this fear.
A giant snowstorm was predicted to hit the Midwest in the days after Christmas. Estimates of snowfall ranged between 12 and 17 inches, and, as you may know, the foreboding rumors only build on each other. The storm was expected to start on Wednesday and go through Friday morning. The kicker is, my boyfriend Brian was planning to take a rental car on an eleven-hour drive to my college town on Friday. I would then drive there, pick him up, and bring him to my house.
When I first heard about the storm, I knew I had to pray and try not to worry. I knew God was giving me a lesson in trust, no matter how much I didn’t want it. So I prayed, a lot. But I was still anxious: even in the days before the storm hit. While I usually would have loved to curl up with a book while it snowed, the fear of all this dangerous driving was driving me mad!
When the storm came on Wednesday, I realized the predictions were spot-on. All I could see out the window was whirling, blowing, falling snow, and the trees closest to the house. It felt like my house was trapped in a snow globe. . .It was actually really pretty. I tried not to worry.
Early on Friday morning, Brian started his drive. He had shared his location with me on Google maps, so I checked it many times throughout the day, along with the weather and road conditions. I was not having much fun waiting. I dreaded my little hour-long drive, too. I literally worried myself sick.
In the end, Brian claims there was only a short stretch of icy road on his drive, and my drive to pick him up was safe as well. I fell asleep at home that night exhausted and incredibly thankful. God was so gracious to keep us both safe. The whole thing got me thinking, though.
Why it all matters
The day before I found out about the snowstorm, I had journaled about how I wanted to trust God in 2019. This new year holds a lot of exciting changes: things like Brian moving cross-country to live in the same city as me for the first time ever, getting engaged, finding a summer job, and applying to a tough graduate school program.
These changes are all giant blessings that I’m thankful for, but they also require a lot of trust. My attitude towards life too often resembles white-knuckled driving in the snow, and I want that to change. In writing that journal entry, I tried to prepare to trust God in finances, relationships, my future schooling, friendships, and my career.
And the very next day, this storm gave me the perfect practice opportunity. It’s like God was saying, “you’re not going to wait until 2019 to put this into action.” Isn’t he great?!
Helping each other
Something I really love about Brian is that he’s awesome at trusting God and refusing worry. He simply looks at the facts, prays, and makes decisions. While I was brooding about the snow, he was carefully driving through it, actively depending on God. I’m not demeaning myself or saying that I don’t trust God at all, but Brian is a strong example in my life of how to do it better every day.
It’s great to have people in our lives who can encourage us and build us up! This is a huge part of God’s purpose in believers growing close (1 Thess. 5:11). I’d encourage you to look for inspiring qualities in your friends, and look for ways you can spur them on, too!
Trust: a recurring topic
So, this post is really just a reminder to trust God, from a girl who has a lot of trouble doing it. I was recently skimming through all my old posts and realized that I’ve written quite a few with the theme of trust. I guess it’s something God is constantly trying to teach me, and I hope it’s nudging you to the same end as well!
This year I’m planning to simply write about whatever he is teaching me through my life. Our God is bigger than any situation, worry, or plan, and he is always faithful. I’m going to try and trust him with it all.
Last week, I had a breakdown in confidence. I was going through the motions my days, with meetings, classes, and work, but everything felt ‘off.’ Suddenly I was worried about how I looked. I was comparing myself to the people around me. Even when I was with people, all I could think about was me. There was a voice inside my head that mocked, “You’re not enough. You’re not doing enough. You’re not being enough.”
The result was a sad sight. I withdrew from people. I stayed holed up in my apartment as much as I could. I was not living life to the full as God wants us to. It was frustrating! I thought I had ‘gotten over’ self-image stuff since high school, but just like that I was plunged back in.
With prayer and God’s grace, I think I’ve come back to my normal self: and I am so thankful! We should never let satan’s lies and schemes against us prevail.
But it has me thinking. . . life will never feel 100% ‘right.’ Just when I think I’ve gotten back on top and have all my chicks in a row, a new obstacle will surface. Maybe I’ll struggle with control, or there will be tension in a friendship, or I’ll fail at something. I’m always going to feel a little misplaced in this world.
And somehow, that’s okay.
We live in a fallen world. Of course, there will be frustrations and feelings of inadequacy and mistakes. The thing that really upsets me is when I assume everything should go great, and it doesn’t. I shouldn’t be surprised when I see that stuff in myself, and you shouldn’t either.
What matters is what we do with it. Instead of getting frustrated and trying to cope on our own, we need to lean into God’s grace and ask him what his purpose is. The hardest thing to do is also the most necessary: to hand it over in prayer. God is extending an invitation. Will we let our hardships teach us and increase our dependence on him?
The things of this world are never going to fulfil us: only Jesus can. Maybe we should take the upsets and hardships as reminders of just that.
Hello! I'm Anna, a college student living in the Midwest. I'm a strong believer in uncontrollable laughter, powerful words, and a morning cup of coffee. I pray these posts will encourage you to live a full life with and for God: unhindered. Follow me on social media for post updates!