Want to know my biggest fear? The unknown. The desperation I feel when I look ahead and have no idea what to expect. The panic that rises in my throat the night before a big event, keeping me awake to play through every possible scenario. This fear has gripped me relentlessly far too many times, and I always dread it as it sets in. Recently, though, I've been realizing that the unknown should not be equated with fear. Throughout 2016, my life has changed a ton. I honestly can’t imagine going back to how things were just a year ago. My life was fine, and I was fine too. I just felt like I was at a stand-still, on the verge of so much more. Graduating high school, meeting my boyfriend, moving into a dorm, starting college, finding wonderful friends there, getting my job at a grade school, starting this blog. Every single step has been monumental for me, but no part of it was easy.
For the better half of the summer, a dull, constant dread ate at my heart as I felt the days slipping by. College was coming too soon, and I had myself convinced that I couldn’t do it. I was halfheartedly doing my devotions about a week before move-in day, when I realized I had been leaving God out of the whole thing, allowing myself to be consumed with worry. I finally poured out everything to him, holding back none of my feelings or doubts. He rushed into that moment with such enthusiasm and comfort, it seemed he had been just waiting for the invitation. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. {Psalm 94:19} God’s comfort wasn’t just a vague, fuzzy warm feeling, though. He revealed an enduring truth to me in this time. My relationship with God is the only constant in my life. It doesn’t matter if I’m watching a movie at home with my family, or if I’m spending the first night in an unfamiliar dorm building alone. God comes with me. He is always the same. Through the billions and billions of innumerable years he’s been, he has never once changed. To worry about what’s next is to disregard the promises he has poured out in scripture. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. {Hebrews 13:8} “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” {Joshua 1:9} Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. {Matthew 6:34} Reflect on these verses as you start a new year, and carry these truths with you into the unknown. There is no telling what will happen in 2017, even if you have a steady, comfortable plan. The best thing you can do when facing the unknown is to invite our constant Lord to come with you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *All Scripture references are taken from the NIV Bible, unless otherwise noted.
2 Comments
Steve Morris
1/2/2017 02:14:58 pm
Lovely post Anna. It amazes me how when we stop the track our mind is used to playing and focus on our faith how much of an impact it can have on our lives. What we choose to focus is a daily choice.
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Anna Koeppe
1/3/2017 07:24:56 am
That's right! What we choose to focus on, either fear or God, plays a huge role into how we feel and live.
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About meHello! I'm Anna, a college student living in the Midwest. I'm a strong believer in uncontrollable laughter, powerful words, and a morning cup of coffee. I pray these posts will encourage you to live a full life with and for God: unhindered. Look forward to new posts every Monday morning!
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