Last month, Brian flew to Fargo and proposed! The whole thing was a surprise, and he coordinated with my roommates to make it the most exciting and sweet day ever. I am so giddy about marrying my best friend and starting our lives together! And ever since that day, with a ring on my left hand, I’ve become a wedding-planning maniac.
I’m writing about this for a few reasons: 1) It’s a major part of my life right now and I want to share it with you, 2) I want to show the reality of being engaged, not only the cute pictures that make relationships look flawless, and 3) God has taught me a lot in this season.
Let me start by saying that being engaged is truly awesome. Brian and I have been dating for almost three years and have known for a large chunk of that time that we wanted to get married. There are so many things I respect and love about him, and officially taking a step towards marriage is crazy exciting! I don’t take it lightly that I have an amazing human committed to me for life. Plus, I get to use the fancy word ‘fiancé’ instead of ‘boyfriend’ now!
The daunting task of planning
Over my spring break last week, I really jumped into the wedding-planning process. I made an extensive spreadsheet, sent (what felt like) thousands of emails, calculated prices, talked to my parents, looked at photos for inspiration, worried about money. . . you get it. I was over my head in information and dedicated to making the day look like my Pinterest board. This was my laser focus for the whole week.
And then I stressed out to the point of ugly-crying three times in one evening.
Yep, that’s the real me. Thankfully, getting back into the routine of college has brought me some sanity and time apart from thinking about all there is to be done. But this struggle isn’t really a surprise. I’ve talked lots on this blog about my battle with control and wanting to plan everything to perfection: and my wedding is a huge test in that area!
God has given me so many bits of wisdom that relate directly to this. For example, I recently heard this in a sermon: when you’re trying to make a decision, you should ask “what would bring God the most glory?” I hate to admit it, but that caught me by surprise. Wedding planning is composed of one billion tiny decisions, and so I was like, “Oh yeah! This can be an opportunity to glorify God!”
I had gotten so wrapped up in the surface details and appearance of it all that I forgot about the most important thing. I, in effect, was striving towards my own glory and exhausting myself! I realize that my focus in having a wedding shouldn’t be to impress people or feel fancy, but to celebrate love, thank God, and start a marriage. I’m excited to continue planning with these things in mind!
Look under the surface
I hope this encourages you to look beyond the surface of decisions and happenings, and glimpse God’s purpose. Because really, it doesn’t matter whether my wedding has lavish flowers or folding chairs or a plated meal or a pretty building. What matters is the meaning behind it all: that Brian and I want to start a God-honoring marriage that reflects Christ.
Now, think about your life. What has been consuming your plans and thoughts lately? Look under the surface.
What deeper purpose can you find?
Hello! I'm Anna, a college student living in the Midwest. I'm a strong believer in uncontrollable laughter, powerful words, and a morning cup of coffee. I pray these posts will encourage you to live a full life with and for God: unhindered. Follow me on social media for post updates!