Sometimes I get illogically inspired at 9 pm in my dorm and effortlessly write an entire blog post in an hour. Sometimes the inspiration is so compelling and clearly from the Spirit that I’m proud of that blog post I write in that hour.
But sometimes, like last Wednesday morning, I totally set the scene: I drive to Starbucks, buy a latte, plug in some worship tunes, pray, crack open my Bible and journal, start up Word. . . and 90 minutes later? Nothing.
Now that's entirely frustrating, and if I let myself wallow, I start believing that I'm a failure: there's no inspiration left for me, I've wasted my time, everything’s already been said, and I'm just one voice shouting into a void anyways.
But ya know what God told me on my crabby drive back to my dorm? It’s not on me! Of course I'll get discouraged and agitated when I believe that everything I'm working towards depends on my wisdom, my inspirational thoughts, and the work I do. When I view my goals and dreams as being totally from me and because of me and depending on me, I get overwhelmed at what they require from me. They weaken and become easily shaken: just a few days of busyness and jumbled thoughts, and I become convinced they're unobtainable.
But all the opposite is true! In reality, every purpose and hope we have for how we’ll impact the world rests in God's hands. He's the one who put these visions in our hearts, He's the one who inspires and sustains, and ultimately, He's the one who does the true, life changing work in the people we’ll impact.
So lately, I’m learning to let go. I'm learning to take the emphasis off what I want from a day, a situation, or even a magnificent dream, and leave it all totally open to the Holy Spirit’s timing and leading.
With this mindset, when I try writing or starting a conversation or encouraging someone and it doesn’t go right, the pressure and guilt is dissipated. It’s not on me at all! It’s all about the Spirit’s work in me. All I have to do is stay excitedly wide open to it, willing to move, and unwaveringly connected to the Spirit. Even when it’s hard to understand what God's doing along the way, the result of trusting Him is always way more peace of mind, effectiveness, and glory for Him in the end.
Hello! I'm Anna, a college student living in the Midwest. I'm a strong believer in uncontrollable laughter, powerful words, and a morning cup of coffee. I pray these posts will encourage you to live a full life with and for God: unhindered. Look forward to new posts every Monday morning!