Last week, I had a breakdown in confidence. I was going through the motions my days, with meetings, classes, and work, but everything felt ‘off.’ Suddenly I was worried about how I looked. I was comparing myself to the people around me. Even when I was with people, all I could think about was me. There was a voice inside my head that mocked, “You’re not enough. You’re not doing enough. You’re not being enough.”
The result was a sad sight. I withdrew from people. I stayed holed up in my apartment as much as I could. I was not living life to the full as God wants us to. It was frustrating! I thought I had ‘gotten over’ self-image stuff since high school, but just like that I was plunged back in.
With prayer and God’s grace, I think I’ve come back to my normal self: and I am so thankful! We should never let satan’s lies and schemes against us prevail.
But it has me thinking. . . life will never feel 100% ‘right.’ Just when I think I’ve gotten back on top and have all my chicks in a row, a new obstacle will surface. Maybe I’ll struggle with control, or there will be tension in a friendship, or I’ll fail at something. I’m always going to feel a little misplaced in this world.
And somehow, that’s okay.
We live in a fallen world. Of course, there will be frustrations and feelings of inadequacy and mistakes. The thing that really upsets me is when I assume everything should go great, and it doesn’t. I shouldn’t be surprised when I see that stuff in myself, and you shouldn’t either.
What matters is what we do with it. Instead of getting frustrated and trying to cope on our own, we need to lean into God’s grace and ask him what his purpose is. The hardest thing to do is also the most necessary: to hand it over in prayer. God is extending an invitation. Will we let our hardships teach us and increase our dependence on him?
The things of this world are never going to fulfil us: only Jesus can. Maybe we should take the upsets and hardships as reminders of just that.
Hello! I'm Anna, a college student living in the Midwest. I'm a strong believer in uncontrollable laughter, powerful words, and a morning cup of coffee. I pray these posts will encourage you to live a full life with and for God: unhindered. Follow me on social media for post updates!